just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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