i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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