So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
