Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
no you cant smoke seaweed
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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