I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
