He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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