This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
