so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
