This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize