hotel room ftw
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
