I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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