She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
