Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
