I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
