she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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