He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
