is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
