Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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