i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize