Don't you send me to vm
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize