ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
