Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize