But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize