So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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