You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize