i think my mom watched the whole time
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
