last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
is wine microwaveable?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
