Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
love makes seman taste better
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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