Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
