dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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