i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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