so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
ttyl tear gas
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
