I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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