im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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