who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
