office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
