my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
