remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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