I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize