Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block

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(248): View more from Michigan

the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

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(518): View more from New York

Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.

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(530): View more from California

I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie

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