Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
