just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
