Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
