Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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