ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
