YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
