I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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