I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
