I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I had to cum in my sink.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
