at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
