We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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