Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
