Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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