Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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