I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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