If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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