Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
